Tuesday, August 7, 2012

August 7, 2012

Normally I don't title a blog by the date.  And normally I try to keep my posts house related.  But I have a feeling I'm going to remember this day for a long, long time.  So naturally, I blogged about it.

This morning, I found out I had Celiac disease. 

My mom was here visiting with Scott and I for a few days, and while here she convinced me to go to the doctor to have some of the issues I've been having (belly and weight related) looked into.  After a simple blood test (OK, not simple -- I'm TERRIFIED of having my blood taken) we were on our way.

My doctor's office uses an online system where you can get lab results.  So I kept checking and checking and checking.  And finally, all my labs come in when I checked this morning.  This is what I see:

You know...I really think they should use a result of some sort other than "abnormal."  I'm not abnormal.  In fact, I have a feeling I am very normal and similar to a lot of other people out there.  I happen to have Celiac disease and some other random food allergies (milk, soy, corn, pork and peanuts) to be exact. 

And now, I just received the official call with the results.  The damn physicians assistant was so perky about it.  "Hi Lindsay.  You now can eat no normal food and will constantly struggle with dietary restrictions for the rest of your life."  Yeah.  I wanted to punch her.  I will be seeing an allergen specialist as well as a nutritionist to help me along with some of that.  More to come on that...

I cried this morning.  And I cried again after I got off the phone with her.  And I've randomly almost burst into tears at random moments today.  I'm FRUSTRATED.  On one hand, I'm happy to have this mystery solved and (hopefully) feeling better soon.  On the other hand, this is a LOT to take in. 

Now that I think about it, I can't honestly remember the last time my body felt GOOD.  But now,  I'm going to be one of those people that can't eat out at restaurants or other people's houses because I won't be able to really know what they're preparing.  Or I'll have to be that guest that won't stop quizzing people.  I've eaten out with my granddad before.  No one seems stoked with all his special requests.  I mean...I get it.   It's necessary.  Unfortunately I have to eat to live.  At this point, giving food up all together seems easier. 

I don't mean to complain.  It could be a lot worse.  There are millions of people who are experiencing far harder obstacles in life than a simple dietary change.  But do you KNOW how bad Americans eat?  I consider myself a good, clean eater.  But as I'm slowly making may way around google (as someone said - I'd "google the shit" out of Celiac everything) I'm realizing how "dirty" I've been eating. 

So to all you (few) readers out there.  Tonight when you're eating your dinner, enjoy it.  Because chances are, I can't eat it anymore.  And that is depressing.  I'm all about free choice.  And hearing I "can't" do something makes me want to go out and do it that much more. 

But I won't.  Instead I'll sit here in my depressed state and feel sorry for myself.  Just for today.  Because when tomorrow comes, I'm ready to take this new lifestyle on 150%.  Maybe I'll even share some things that I learn along the way.

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